I Love Cake
by Gaara'slovexx16
Summary: I love you." "I love... Cake." NaruSasu, AU, I own absolutely nothing.


**Disclaimer: I seriously own nothing in this fic. Not any of the Naruto characters, the plot, not even the words. I spent two days (well, a few hours broken into two days) copying down all the lines and actions from an episode of That 70's Show. I seriously don't own anything. I just changed the names, a few lines, and cut out a few scenes. **

**If you haven't seen the episode "I Love Cake" of That 70's Show I suggest you watch before or after you read this fic. It's funnier that way and it makes the ending look better.**

**Eric: Naruto**

**Donna: Sasuke**

**Fez: Gaara (only because Gaara doesn't live in the same town as everyone else, just like Fez doesn't come from America)**

**Kelso: Kiba**

**Jackie: Sakura**

**Hyde: Shino (sunglasses. 'Nuff said.)**

**

* * *

**

"Oh my god," Naruto breathed, shifting in the drivers seat of the vista cruiser to face Sasuke better. "Did you hear that? It sounds like a…" He let out a breath for dramatic effect. "A bloody hook scraping against the back door." He took a good look at Sasuke's thoughtful face. "What--What's wrong?" He asked concernedly. "You're like a million miles away."

"I don't know, it's just that my parents are fighting like all the time. It just makes me so mad," Sasuke said, turning to Naruto." Like I wanna kick their asses but I can't… But… I wanna do _something._"

Naruto shifted again, removing his arm from Sasuke's shoulders to his own lap, letting out a breath. "Okay," he started. "Take me Sasuke."

Sasuke let a grin spread out on his face. "What?"

"Go ahead, take me. Punish me for your parents' business." Naruto held up a hand as Sasuke opened his mouth, cutting him off. "Do your business and be done with it. Don't be shy. I can take it." He clenched his eyes shut and pursed his lips in fake anticipation as he let his hand fall. He cracked one eye open to look at Sasuke. "But… God, do be gentle."

Sasuke's grin widened. "You didn't actually think that'll work, do you?"

"Well no. But I am a virgin and it's driving me crazy. But that's not your fault--wait! _Yes it is_!"

Sasuke laughed. "How do you do that?

"Do what?"

"You always make me feel better."

"Uhm… Well, thank you," Naruto said shyly, smiling.

Sasuke leaned in and pressed his lips to Naruto's. "I love you Naruto," he said when they pulled away.

Naruto's eyes widened. It was the first time Sasuke had said it. Not even he had said. "I love…" He started, then trailed off. _Oh god, what do I do?! _"…Cake."

**

* * *

**

"Guys, let me ask you something," Naruto started, looking around at his friends nervously. "If Sasuke told me he loved me… and then I told him I loved cake… That's not bad is it? I'm--I'm still cool, right?"

Gaara stared.

Kiba stared.

Shino took a rather large bite of pizza.

"Okay, I don't know what happened, I just panicked and it popped out. I mean, I don't remember wanting to ever talk about cake. I wasn't really all that hungry."

"Cake is good," Gaara stated. "But you _cannot have sex with cake,_" he added. Then he shook his head. "Of course, you cannot have sex with Sasuke either, so…"

"Yeah man. You should've just lied and told him you loved him too," Kiba suggested. "'I love you baby,'" he mimicked Naruto's voice (failing miserably). "See, now I don't love you. Isn't that great?" He grinned.

"He does love 'im, ya' dope. Right?" Shino asked. Everyone turned to stare at Naruto.

"Okay, well… If I admit it, are you guys gonna make fun of me?"

"Oh Naruto, love is not a joke. This is a joke: 'Knock knock,'" Gaara said reassuringly.

"Who's there? Now, if you really o love him, there's only one thing to do man… You gotta dump him and _live free_!" Kiba let out a howl of laughter.

Shino shook his head. "Don't listen to him man--he's stupid. Here's whatchya gotta do: he said it, so now you gotta say it. Then he'll say it back and everything'll be okay. Oh, and get him pizza, 'cause right now, I kinda love Kiba."

"Yeah, I can do that," Naruto said, reaching to grab a piece of pizza. "I'll just say it, and be back on top again. Alright."

**

* * *

**

Sasuke turned the knob oh the radio as he and Naruto sat in the vista cruiser again, flipping through random stations. "Naruto," he said, giving a worried look to the nervous blonde beside him. "Naruto, are you okay?"

"W-What? Yeah."

"You look like you have a stomach ache or something."

"No," Naruto said, shaking his head. "There's nothing wrong with my stomach. It's just that… I… I love you." He shifted his gaze to the floorboard. Sasuke just stared at him. _Oh shit, what did I do? He's gonna laugh at me, I'm ruined for life. Oh God, what do I do? What _did _I do? This is all Shino's fault, that bastard. Oh God, he's staring at me… _"Man," Naruto added, punching Sasuke in the arm and giving a nervous laugh.

**

* * *

**

"… and then he punched me in the arm and said 'man.'" Sasuke gave a light punch onto Sakura's shoulder.

"Oh my God," Sakura said, placing her hand over her heart. "What a horrible disaster… Well, go on."

"I guess I totally screwed things up. 'Cause ever since I said 'I love you' he's been acting _so weird._"

"Okay, wait a second, I'm a little confused. Why did _you_ say 'I love you'?"

"Because I… Love him?" Sasuke nodded in a 'Duh, stupid,' kind of way.

"Ugh, Sasuke. That's got _nothing to do with it. _You are _way _too young to be saying 'I love you.'"

"Shut up, Sakura. You say it to Kiba all the time and you're like, younger than me."

"Not in love years," Sakura replied, shaking her head. "Alright, look. Naruto doesn't know how to handle that kind of thing. You probably just scared him off. All you can do is play it cool for a while, turn down the emotional heat, and Sasuke, God willing, he'll forget you threw yourself at him."

"I know it sounds impossible," Sasuke started, looking a bit astonished. "But… what you just said actually makes sense."

"Look, the sooner you realize I'm a genius the better off we'll both be."

**

* * *

**

"Hey, Sasuke. Check it out," Naruto said, reaching into the deep freeze and pulling something out. "Hey Kiba, fudge-sickle!" He threw what was now known as a fudge-sickle across the room. Kiba pounced for it, but missed, landing half on the couch and half on the floor while the fudge-sickle flew passed him.

He looked around and asked, "Where'd it go?"

"Uhm, perhaps it went under the couch," Gaara suggested.

"Come on Sakura. This is getting lame," Sasuke said as Kiba continued to look around frantically. He climbed off the couch and headed to the door, Sakura following him with a "Yeah, sure."

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto called before Sasuke could reach the door handle. Sasuke looked back and Naruto asked, "So… Will I see you later?"

Sasuke looked at Sakura, who shook her head and mouthed "No." Sasuke looked back at Naruto and shrugged, a smug smile on his lips. "No, you'll never see me again," he said, and the two left.

"Ha," Naruto said awkwardly, looking around at all his gaping friends. He swallowed. "He's a little pistol, huh?"

"_What did you do_?" Shino ground out.

"_Nothing_! I did what you said and told him I loved him!"

"You're _lying_."

"No, it's true! Except… Except…" Naruto swallowed. "You know, I might've… Popped him one on the shoulder and called him man…"

"You idiot," Gaara said, sighing and covering his eyes with his hand.

"Hey, this isn't my fault. You said if I told him I loved him he'd say it back but he didn't. He just stared at me…"

"Well did you give him a chance to answer?" Shino asked. "How long did you wait before you completely _muffed out_?!"

"Forever man. Like five minutes."

"You're lying."

"No, it's true. It was like… Well, maybe just a couple seconds but time ceased to exist! I was just hanging out there, really far out there! Just--_Hanging_!"

Shino glared. "Naruto contributes in class but _does not follow directions_."

"Man, where the heck is that fudge-sickle?!" Kiba yelled, still searching the floor. Somewhere along the way, Gaara had found the fudge-sickle and was munching on it behind Kiba. Kiba turned around and noticed this. "Hey… Is that my fudge-sickle?" He asked.

"No, this one's mine," Gaara replied, smirking and taking another bite.

Kiba looked around again. "Then where's my fudge-sickle?" He crawled behind the couch on all fours.

"Just--Tell me how am I supposed to fix this?!" Naruto shouted.

"Well, first of all," Kiba said, popping up from behind the cough--fudge-sickle momentarily forgotten. "You need to handle a little womanly man troubles without getting all freaked out. It's pretty unmanly, man." He glanced back over at Gaara, still munching on the fudge-sickle. He stood up and snatched it away, leaving out the basement door grounding out, "That's _my _fudge-sickle."

**

* * *

**

Sasuke threw the ball and it went through the basket with a _swish._ Naruto grabbed it when it bounced over to him and walked over to the raven. "Great shot," he said. "And I love you."

"Well… the basket doesn't really count because I traveled."

"You can never travel… because I love you."

"Naruto, you're being a huge dork."

"A huge dork who loves you."

"God," Sasuke ground out, smacking the ball from Naruto and dribbling it over to the patio railing to lean on it, ball now in his hands. "Stop it. Look, the only reason I said it is because I _felt it_. And not just so you would say it back. And if I knew you would get in such a twist about it I wouldn't have said it at all."

"I'm not in a twist," Naruto retorted. "It's just… Cake, okay that _was_ pretty stupid…" Naruto hung his head.

"Yes! Thank you. So… I mean, why'd you say it?"

"I don't know, I just…" Naruto let out a breath. "Now… Once _it _is out there…If we broke up, I mean…" He swallowed. "You know, what would I tell myself?"

"I guess you could tell yourself you still have cake. We both know how much it means to you."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, that's nice. What a sweet guy."

"Okay look. I have an idea," Sasuke said, pushing off the railing and dribbling the ball. "Why don't we just pretend it never happened."

"I like that."

"Yeah."

"Okay," Naruto clenched his eyes shut, then opened them. "Never happened and… You _did _travel so… My ball." Naruto snatched the ball away, dribbled, and shot, the ball going through the basket with a _swish._

**

* * *

**

Naruto and Sasuke sat on the hood of the vista cruiser. "So, they're really gonna separate?" Naruto asked, referring to Sasuke's parents.

"Yeah, but they're still gonna _live_ together."

"Oh… Wow… Are… Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but I mean that's just the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Sasuke said. "I mean, how is _that _supposed to work?"

"Well, I think it'll be like when Gilligan and Skipper drew a chalkline down the middle of the hut. That worked out great."

Sasuke laughed. "Yeah, that solved all their problems."

"Yeah," Naruto said, smiling. "I love you," he said quietly.

Sasuke smiled. "I love you too."

Naruto wrapped an arm around Sasuke's waist, kissing him good and long. "Alright then." And he kissed Sasuke again.

**

* * *

**

**Oh wow, I cannot believe I just did that. Leave a review.**


End file.
